Do you feel the need for change, but something is holding you back? Do you wish you had more courage? Do you ever wonder what sets you apart from those who seem to possess this QUALITY?
As a psychologist and professional coach, I can tell you that people who act more courageously don’t actually POSSESS courage — they BUILD it.
In popular culture, courage is often seen as an innate personality trait — something a person either has or doesn’t have. From a psychological perspective, however, courage can be viewed as a skill that can be developed through specific cognitive and emotional processes.
What are the key things we need to know about courage as a skill?
1. To be courageous, we need to come to terms with temporary discomfort.
Numerous studies indicate that the brain perceives any form of uncertainty or change as a potential threat. This means that the discomfort accompanying courageous actions is not a sign of inadequacy, but a natural reaction of the nervous system. In this sense, courage requires enduring short-term discomfort to achieve long-term goals.
2. Fear is inevitable because it always tries to protect us.
Fear arises when we perceive something as a potential threat. It is perfectly normal to feel fear when we want to do something new, unfamiliar, or different. The key is to learn to act alongside fear — not despite it, but together with it. We need to understand why and what we are afraid of, take care of that fear, change the way we think about the situation, and address the needs that can support us. The more we get to know our fear, the easier it becomes to act courageously.
3. Deep internal motivation is essential for courage.
The stronger our motivation for something, the less likely we are to give up on it. Accordingly, if we have deep reasons for wanting something, we are more willing to take the necessary risks. This isn’t about external motivation — social approval, rewards, or recognition. It’s about our internal motivation: our values, the kind of person we want to be, and what truly matters to us. When we discover a reason that is genuinely meaningful and deeply important to us for taking a risk, courage comes more easily, because we are confident in the significance of our choice.
4. What most often prevents us from being courageous is our fear of negative emotions.
One of the key components of psychological resilience is the ability to experience negative emotions without avoiding them. In this sense, being courageous doesn’t mean not feeling fear, anxiety, shame, or sadness. It means being able to endure and manage these emotions. The more we learn to be present with our emotions, understand what triggers them, and recognize the information they bring us, the more confidently and courageously we act. No matter how uncomfortable negative emotions may be, the truth is that if we allow them, they quickly pass. However, if we avoid or suppress them — in other words, if we become terrified of them — it becomes much harder to act courageously.
5. The outcome of inaction is more frightening than the outcome of action.
People usually overestimate the risk of taking action and underestimate the cost of inaction. But if we imagine how our lives will unfold if we continue to postpone a certain step or risk, we realize that the consequences can be frightening.
How to turn this knowledge into action — here are the first steps to increase your sense of courage.
- Notice when you are avoiding action instead of taking it. Keep a record of the situations where fear makes you procrastinate, doubt yourself, or give up. It’s helpful to write down all these moments.
- Get to know your fears. Here are a few guiding questions: What am I most afraid of losing? What would that mean for me? What would happen if my fear came true? What feels like I can’t handle? How can I take care of myself and soothe my fear?
- Discover your internal motivation for taking action. What would be worth enduring the discomfort for? What value or direction truly matters to you? What are the values you want to live by? Write your answers in a few sentences, and whenever you need to take action, remind yourself of them.
- Practice tolerance for difficult emotions. When you feel a negative emotion (fear, shame, anxiety, sadness), don’t try to push it away. Instead, allow it to pass through your body like a wave. Ask yourself: How does this emotion feel? Where in your body do you feel it? Is there an image associated with it? Does it have a message for you? Stay with this feeling for 2–5 minutes.
- Imagine a scenario in which you don’t take action or avoid taking a risk. Describe what your life would look like in 1, 3, or 5 years if you don’t make a change. This exercise often awakens inner clarity and a strong desire to take action.
Courage is a skill that can be developed and cultivated. The more we practice it, the easier it becomes to act courageously. Additionally, it boosts our confidence, self-esteem, and resilience. Start consciously practicing courage today!
And if it’s difficult for you to do it alone — reach out to me, Zornitsa Zareva, or Growth Space, and we will be happy to help you! Stay tuned for our full program focused on increasing happiness, fulfillment, and quality of life!